I could have sworn the end had come.damaged goods

I'm tired of you haunting my dreams. I hadn't had any in quite a while, but tonight it was more than apparent that you are still in there waiting to prey on my tired mind and soul. Before they were reenactments, I knew what was coming next. Tonight I had no such luck. It seemed I closed my eyes only to open them up right away to your face at my front door. I wasn't sure how you knew where I lived, but there you were with a smile on your face expecting me to invite you in. After politely asking you to leave and getting no response I knew it was time to let you have it and tell you exactly what I thought of you. I stepped outside, just as I had done years before...only this time it wasn't because I was scared and alone, it was because I was angry and filled with adrenalin. Each step I took built up more anger to be released in me, but in you all I saw was satisfaction. You were winning but I couldn't help it. I needed you to know what it was that you really did to me. I yelled at you for being the reason for my nightmares. I told you how much you have ruined my life. You are the cause for the pain inside; emotional, spiritual, and now physical. You are the reason I have gotten the worst news of my life...i don't care how treatable they say it is, this will still forever change me. I am now damaged goods, moreso than before. at least before therapy helped, now what i can't talk my way out of this no matter how hard i try.