A surprise around every corner

Well, today started out a bit emotional. I'm dealing with some new information that is hard to process and could forever change my life as well as those around me. I'm not quite ready to talk about it all, but I am finally accepting the reality of it all. In doing so I pretty much lost my cool this morning and had to go for a walk. I ended up at the park and watched the sun rise over the trees while swinging. It was fairly relaxing and much needed. This entire episode helped me realize that I cannot expect what I do not ask for. I needed comfort, support, and reassurance. Once I asked for it I received it and I honestly felt so much better. More relaxed and ready to take the day on with a happier, healthier outlook.

Lily took a great nap and was happy during Mass today. I think it helped that Fr Dave was there :) we were all pleasantly surprised! I guess the priest that is supposed to be filling in this month couldn't make it. Lily sang her little heart out during a few of the hymns, and made a new friend. After Communion there was a bit of a disturbance. While we were all kneeling in prayer a man a few pews up from us stood up and began preaching, this is not a standard practice in the Catholic Church and I (as well as most of the parishioners) found it to be disrespectful. Father Dave addressed the man quietly and asked him to respect our service. When the man declined Deacon made a phone call to what I am assuming was the police station. The choir stepped up and sang loud and proud, drowning the man out. During this time another male parishioner stood next to the man showing him something and talking to him. It was nice to see that everyone just kind of let him do his thing and only addressed him peacefully. Though the rest of Mass Edwin and Chris stood beside the man after attempting to have him leave, he was very diligent. Even at the closing prayer the man was preaching. Father didn't miss a beat though, he made light of the situation by saying this would be a very memorable Mass (after which Mina laughed so hard she snorted!)

I personally don't have a problem with people expressing their views and beliefs. Just don't do it in the middle of another religious service. Stand outside the doors and saying what you would like before or after the service would even be fine with me. But to completely disrespect the beliefs of others is not acceptable in my eyes, but to each his own I guess.

My last surprise of the day, so far anyway, Alfred is coming home tomorrow! I wish it were for better circumstances :/ his great grandma is not doing so hot so he's coming home to be with her and the rest of the family. But the best part of the surprise is that a man who he had never met before offered to get him a round trip ticket home for $150! what an amazing man :) he will forever be remembered by those who know what he has done for Fred and his family!

Hopefully there will be more good surprises around the corner soon!

Tomorrow is the soccer game! It's going to be a long day for Lily!!! But should be tons of fun!

rejuvination

Sunday Lily and I went to church and saw Fr Dave for what may be the last time. He has been such a huge part of my spiritual life and growth...from the loss of a loved one to the birth of my beautiful daughter. OLA has been so blessed to have him for the last 7 years and he will be missed so much! I have never felt so close to a priest, even my uncle. He sat and listened when I needed to talk. He pushed me when he knew I could do more than I thought. He gave me the opportunities I needed to grow in my faith. Without him I don't know that I would have taken the steps I did to create and facilitate my own jr high group while I was still in high school. The support and encouragement I received from him and the rest of the staff gave me the confidence to continue to give my time and energy to the youth of the church. Sunday's mass was extremely emotional for me. Although being back at OLA is nice and I feel at home, my spiritual life isn't as strong as it used to be and I don't like the void that leaves. After seeing Fr Dave and Deacon John on Sunday, as well as my old students (who are now the new teachers) I have decided it's time to take charge and change what I am not happy with, and what isn't healthy in my life. I can't change those around me, but I can change the life I lead for myself. It's time to move on from working with the high school ministry and help other mom's like me...I've decided I want to work with the church to start a bible study group for moms...I hope our new priest is as excited about these things as Fr Dave was :)

Anywho, off to Grace's to bake the day away and then a visit to Janet who hasn't seen Lily since we were in the hospital!

The start of something beautiful

Lily just went down for her nap. It took a while to get her down, but she fell asleep in her crib!!! And it's the second time in a row, she did it last night too. I just let her cry in her crib for a little bit then go in lay her down pat her back for a while and bam asleep...well, maybe I'm making it sound easier than it really was but it just made me super happy and accomplished :)

Thank you Google!

So, I've been putting together meal plans for about a week or two at a time. It's been a help when going to the grocery store. I have an idea of everything I will need and don't have to make random trips to the store for odd things. Even though meal planning makes the trip to the store easier I don't hardly stick to it. Thanks to Google calendars though I moved my meal plan from One Note to a calendar and I can see it on my phone or computer. It also makes it easy to share with Gracie :) She and I have been talking for a while about helping each other with dinners...now we can actually do it! Not only will it keep track of the meal itself, but the recipe can go in the description section and bam you've got it forever!

Worst feeling ever!

It's 3am and I've been up with Lily since 1:30. Before that she woke up at 12 after barely going to bed at 11. At the moment I am listening to her cry in her crib from the couch with tears in my own eyes. This was attempt 3 at laying her down and I just don't know what else to do. She sleeps great while in my arms, but as soon as I lay her down she wakes up crying. I'm completely exhausted and don't know how much more sleep I can go without. I have always been against the cry it out method, but I'm willing to try at this point...although, Lily is just hysterical in her room right now, I'll probably only last another minute.

SuperMommy...I wish

Haha so much for keeping up on my blogging :P

Today is crazy! I feel like I have so much to do and so little time. I am trying to finish up a super boring paper, keep the house clean...which is not working out so well...take care of Lily and myself. Oye some days I wish I was super woman, but today I just have to accept that I am not and rest a little so that maybe I can be super woman tomorrow.

What will tomorrow bring?

I tell myself over and over that I am going to keep up this blogging business, but it's not the easiest thing to do. I get distracted with other things going on, taking care of lily, sleeping, homework...the basics. Lately I've been thinking a lot about the future. It scares me a little, ok a lot, that I am unsure of where I will be next year, let alone in 5 years down the road. I've always had this plan of how things will go, and although I veer off the path from time to time at least there is a plan. For now I'm living in San Bernardino, raising Lily, and doing online classes. I can't see much farther down the road than maybe a month or two, and honestly I'm not a big fan. I want more, and I think I deserve to let myself desire more, but at the same time I feel like I should be happy with the present...which I am, don't get me wrong.

Meeting up with Gracie last night was nice. I hadn't talk to her in a while and being able to talk to her about the future, and how she's kinda there too was a bit of a relief. I guess even after you have your house, marriage, and career you still wonder what comes next. Just gotta have faith.

On another note, I've been enjoying planning Lily's baptism reception. I love putting favors, decorations, and food together. Sometimes I really think I should have just stuck with event planning. I know it would take up weekends and summers, but I really love putting colors and themes together...I especially take pride in the end result. Maybe I can be one of those crazy Blogger moms that actually makes money blogging and I can do it all on event planning somehow, or start some kind of event planning gig with Alyssa and Grace like we talked about so much? Decisions, decisions.

Well, I'm off to bed. Lily's been asleep for almost an hour which means I probably have an hour before she's up again :P

Hopefully I can get to sleep in my empty bed. It's always so strange when Jared's gone.