Determined to work from home...

Well, I went back to work...and now, a month later, I am back at home. After much thought and consideration I decided that the stress and anxiety both Lily and I were experiencing being away from home and each other wasn't worth the little bit of money I would be bringing home. Now I am determined to find away to work from home. I spent the morning looking at different direct sales companies. Direct sales has never really been something I saw myself being a part of, but now I think it is the best business! Well, we'll see how it goes anyways still trying to decide on a company to really dive into. I signed up with Barefoot Books, http://Stephanie-Ansell.barefootbooks.com, today. There are no start up costs and I get to sell children's books! Hopefully it works out. I am also looking at Dove Chocolates, and a wine tasting company too. I'm just trying to keep in mind what will be the best saleswise. As long as I stay focused I can do this :P

A deeper appreciation

With Mom and Dad in Hawaii I decided to stay in Oceanside with the kids. It's been a taste single parenthood, and boy oh boy is it crazy. Trying to take care of the baby, make sure Madi is ready for school and on top of her homework, making dinner, making lunch before Madi leaves for school...it's all quite a bit of work. All the more reason I think Lily will be an only child for at least a couple years, I'd really like to be finished with all my schooling.

It's been nice being home though. I've been able to spend time with the kids and my cousins. Presten and Tristen love seeing Lily, and it brightens my day to see how excited they are to interact with her. Lily was making noises and we asked Presten what she was saying, "She's saying how much she loves me, and it's a lot." I really hope we can spend more time in Oceanside, I want Lily to get to know my family and build relationships with them. Gotta call Grams today, hopefully she can come by to see Lily.

Just another day

By this time yesterday I had done laundry, started dinner, baked brownies, gone on a walk to the grocery store, and taken care of the baby...Today, not even close. Went on my walk this morning...usually that is the sign of a productive day, but that's really all of done. Now Lily has been asleep for almost two hours and I have hardly gotten anything done...just not motivated. Maybe Alyssa coming by will turn my day around.

Finally a quiet sleeping baby...

The last two days have been pretty trying on my emotions, patience, and body. Lily has been pretty high maintenance, which is unlike her. I had this plan on putting together a schedule and starting to get my lesson plans ready for when I go back to work...well that didn't exactly happen. Lily would only nap for twenty minutes at a time, not a whole lot of time to get anything done. So I didn't get any lesson planning finished, completed very little homework, and did one load of laundry...unproductive :/ Today I knew would be better, so far it is, but not by much. Lily didn't sleep well last night, just the same as during the day, she only slept for about twenty minutes at a time. Tried letting her cry herself back to sleep, but it's hard because we aren't the only ones her crying affects so I would end up getting up with her. By 5 I just left her in bed with me so that I could get some sleep otherwise I probably would've gone crazy. Lily woke up just as grumpy this morning. She played for maybe ten minutes then cried until I picked her up. Usually she loves sitting in her chair in the bathroom while I shower...the sound of the water always calms her...today that lasted a whole of two minutes. By ten she was yawning and oh so tired, but she wouldn't nap. I tried rocking her, giving her a pacifier, and eventually just left her in her crib to cry herself to sleep. After twenty minutes of crying and still no sleep I put her in her stroller and took her for a walk. Thirty minutes later we are in the living room. She is finally asleep, but I don't dare take her out of her stroller. I'm eating for the first time today, and hopefully I can get some phone calls, laundry, and homework in this time!...At least she's slept long enough for me to write this :)

Nap Time...

While Lily naps I am taking the opportunity to put together lesson plans before I go back to work. i love this part, putting activities together that will teach children while they are having fun. I am hoping to get one week finished every day...we'll see though that might be a stretch!

Less than two weeks to go...

Sometimes the mind is just to busy to sleep I guess, no matter how tired one gets. There are questions and fears, thoughts that just wont rest.

Been a While

I was doing good for a little bit, but I guess I just got off track with this whole writing thing. Everything seems to be coming together for the most part. I'm getting excited and nervous about November, 92 days til the due date of the baby...but in all reality I could be in the delivery room in 2 months! It's a little stressful not knowing when she'll be here, I like to be in control of things and this I definitely do not have control over. It's not that I'm nervous about taking care of the baby once she gets here, I am more nervous about the actual labor and delivery. There are so many different thoughts that run and jump around in my mind. Everyone says not to read the "horror" stories, and not to think about the bad things that could happen...but I just can't help it sometimes. Thankfully we have hospitals that are well equipped with monitors and well-trained staff to make the process as safe as possible, but I can't help it when my mind wanders into the sea of the unknown. The "What-If" game plays a lot of tricks on me about the whole thing. I know I just have to take things day by day, but it's a struggle for sure.

On a lighter note, I have job interview #2 with School Time Learning in Riverside. I am really hoping that I get a job at this school. They are hiring for a number of positions...preschool teacher, preschool teacher aide, after school teacher (with elementary kids), floater, and office assistant. I'd love to be in the classroom again, I've been out of work for so long at this point I'm literally going crazy. The positions are full time for the most part, I think the teacher's aide position is the only one that's part time. I can take the baby with me once I go back to work after maternity leave. That way I can actually watch her grow and change, I'll be around for the milestones it'll be amazing. Not to mention the fact that the school is right down the street from where Jared works and where he goes to school. I won't have to miss him so much on his long days. I'll be able to see him in between. So, I'm really hoping today goes well and I can get creative and don't freeze up. But I guess whatever is meant to be will be.